Our Blog

An ongoing series of informative entries

Why Shielding doesn't work for Empaths (or anyone else)

5/30/2017

When you are finally done fighting your true nature

Shields are great when you are actually under attack. The problem is that, even though you may feel that you are under attack and everyone’s energy is encroaching upon yours and that you must be constantly vigilant in case an energy vampire might be lurking about. The truth is, this is not the case! Yes, there are people who will take from you without giving a care. They will suck the life out of you if you let it.

“Let it” being the operative words here! Yes, I’ve been there. Yes I’ve done that. Yes, I too have felt like locking myself in my house and never coming out again. It doesn’t work.

To understand better what I am about to tell you, you must understand what being an empath is and how you came to be an empath. Whatever the cause, and it’s not always one answer. Maybe you had an empathic parent, and maybe you had an abusive parent. Maybe you had both. (I am not focusing on either of these because the fact being that these wounds are not something that can be addressed alone and certainly not resolved in one simple article.) The result is that you learned, from an early age to tune in and gauge the emotions of others. This is fairly natural observance as a young being. What takes place is that repeatedly, you check in to the emotions of others in order to determine what the mood is and often, to check for safety. This is a wonderful gift and allows you to match the tempo of others, making you a universal translator in a lot of ways. You speak their language! When someone is upset you know it and you work to cheer them up or to make them feel better in some way. You are able to listen and really understand what it is that they are going through. This is a beautiful thing and should not be discounted.

The drawback takes place when you are no longer in a small controlled family environment. Trying to please, help, and soothe everyone is overwhelming and exhausting. You end up just taking on everyone else’s “stuff” and not being able to fix it and help them you ultimately feel inadequate and defeated. Not only that but you are just carrying around their emotions because they remain unresolved. This happens when you have the idea that you need to heal the world and because negative emotions are so prevalent and the population so dense, there is nowhere to escape from all of this and not enough hours in the day or energy in your body to accomplish this.

All this leaves the empath feeling defeated, useless, run down, taken advantage of, etc. Not a great feeling at all! This leads a lot of empaths to try to control their environments and the people around them to such an isolating extent. To try to shield themselves everyday only to end up with anxiety and depression.

So, this is where the conflict is really damaging you. You are the one tuning in to others energy and emotions but you do it so automatically now that you are not even aware you are doing it. Because that is has become a highly attuned sense strength within you. I habit that is as ingrained as any other habit like walking or speaking for example. You don’t have to think about it, you just do it. When we understand that this is what we are doing, we start to see how tuning in and then trying to protect ourselves does not work. We are literally fighting with ourselves and we have the internal battle scars to show for it.

This is why I never recommend shielding.

Now, what do we do about all this? If there’s no shielding, or bubbles, or zipping, or sending light, what do you do? I am so glad you asked!

First begin by recognizing that incredible gift and skill which you have mastered.

Second is to start to purposefully tune in. Yes, I said purposefully! Those of you who are continually trying to shut it out will be resistant to this. I was at first too but I knew that I NEEDED to figure this out because it was killing me. Tune in on purpose, get curious, and explore this gift with wonder and innocence. What you feel in another means nothing about you and everything about them. There is often a deep underlying reason behind why they operate in the manner they do.

Once you have practiced this for a while and felt the ease of it and the relief then move on to the next article and lesson.

Blessings to you all and may you find the peace and piece of mind you seek! 

Is this mine? How to know whether the emotion you are feeling belongs to you or not.

7/12/2017

Seems simple enough right?! For empaths, the distinction between your own emotions and those of others is not so simple. When you are an empath, you feel emotions of others as if they are your own. Often, you feel them more strongly than you feel your own emotions. For example: If you were sitting at home alone and all of the sudden you feel panic or a sense of foreboding, you would probably do a mental inventory to see if you had too much caffeine that day or turn off the scary movie you were watching. For an empath, they could be having a simple dinner or reading a book, or engaged in a similar soothing activity and begin feeling this, not knowing that a loved one, miles away had just received some frightening news. This can occur at any time and often does for certain sensitive souls. Because most empaths are not aware that this is how it works or what to do with this, the empath can, and often does, become plagued by anxiety.

I often meet empaths who have come to a point where they no longer want to interact with the world because it is so overwhelming. This is understandable, but heartbreaking. Nor is it very practical as most of us have to earn a living. We are social creatures and need social interaction in order to survive.

So, my dear soul, you ask; “What does one do?” I’m so glad you asked! (even and especially if it out of survival). The methods I describe below are methods that I, myself have used. Methods that I developed with the help of spirit. Methods that I have taught many others with great success when used consistently.

Before you begin, please remember, you are changing what you normally do and creating a new habit. This will take time and practice so be gentle with yourself. It fact, this is the primary lesson in all I teach, be gentle with yourself. You’ve been through enough and you deserve compassion! Wouldn’t you agree?

When you begin to feel a strong emotion, you will ask yourself the following questions:

First ask yourself “Is this mine?” As you begin, you will give yourself a moment or two to determine any change. If the emotion begins to dissipate, it does not belong to you. If the emotion becomes stronger than it is yours.

If the emotion is yours, allow yourself to feel it. Explore it, move into it, get curious about it. Give yourself the attention that your emotions are asking you for. Honor what comes up and take action if you need to. Follow your inner guidance.

If the emotion is not yours, ask yourself “Who does this belong to?” you should get a distinct impression of who it is coming from. For example, an image of a loved one pops into your mind’s eye, maybe you think of a name, maybe you even picture there name as if written on a chalk board, or maybe it just feels like a certain person. What you receive and how you will receive it is based on your own personal inclination. If it is coming from more than one person, then the answer may not be as distinct so if you are unsure, ask yourself if this belongs to more than one person. If you are in a room, you can go around the room and ask yourself if it belongs to this or that person.

Next, you will ask “Is there something I need to do with this emotion (name the emotion, anger, fear, etc.)?” You will get a strong sensation if the answer is yes. If the answer is no, you will not receive anything. You can always place your hand over your heart and ask this question if you are unsure.

If you received a no, say a small thank you and be aware that you were given this knowledge for informational purposes only. Go ahead and release it.

If you received a yes that you are to do something with the information your received then you will ask another question. You will ask: “Please provide me with clear guidance as to what I am supposed to do”. You will feel an internal tug. You must follow this internal tug in whatever form it comes in. Most of the time you will feel the need to strike up a conversation and provide some sort of comfort. Often, just being aware will pull the person to you. They will do the rest and indicate what their needs are. It is likely they need an understanding listening ear (just what an empath does best!).

Above all, use your own guidance and trust your own judgement!

Blessings to you all my dear friends!